The problem with blog posts
This piece here could be read as an excuse. But it shouldn’t be. I am writing this for myself, and sharing it because I suspect I am not alone in feeling this way. So not an excuse.
Why have I not been writing in this space?
I do have time. Not every week maybe, but enough to write more than two posts in a year.
There is no lack of ideas to write about. As I type this, I have next to me a list of about twenty potential topics.
I do know how to operate the dashboard in Squarespace. My page may not be the most beautiful or fancy one out there, but I know where to put a post. So no problem here.
None of the above. The one and only reason why I do not have more posts up here is fear. Of being thought stupid. Especially by people I know in real life.
My thinking goes a little like this: what if I post something here, and it turns out there is a mistake? Or there is a better way to do something? Or what I post is so simple it is silly even writing about it? If someone were to see that, they would not take me seriously at work any more, not hire me for the job I want, or laugh at me behind my back.
And what if I write something good? Maybe someone will like it, and tell me so in a comment or even in person. And then we both get on with our days. The end.
Seen like this, there could be much more to lose from writing something bad, than there is to gain from posting something nice or interesting. And I think subconsciously my brain feels this way, and so I have been procrastinating on this for a long time.
Now the logical question would be, how to get around this? Are my feelings actually true? I am thinking that the risk of people I know or will meet in person knowing about my blog will actually exist once I would share any post of mine on LinkedIn for example. So I have to assume that at some point someone I know will read what I have written here.
Then, if that happened, what would they think? About the material they find, about me? Let me reverse the roles for a second. What would I think when I found these posts, written by a colleague? Cool, she has a blog. Hm I didn’t know he was interested in that topic. O, I knew that already. A small mistake there. But no matter what I found, how likely is it that I would think this person was stupid, or pretentious?
And if I was interviewing someone for a job who had listed a blog on his resume, what would I think? Cool, he seems to be really passionate about the topic. Good to know she is familiar with this technique. But would I really consider not hiring that person just because of a blog like that?
If that is all true, and I believe it is, it would be nice if I could judge myself in the same way. And expect other people to do the same thing. But I don’t, and that is a problem. In itself, and specifically here because it prevents me from doing something I want to do: writing posts here.
I don’t have a solution for the problem in itself. That would require expertise I do not have, and also this may not be the space to discuss it. But I will share something I plan to try for myself, to get me over the hurdle and start to share. And it is not groundbreaking.
I will spend two hours every week (starting small here!) working on this blog. While doing so, I will pretend to be looking to my own work as I would to someone else’s, and judge it that way. I will not just write whatever, but try to make it as good as I can, but not worry about what other people may or may not think of it. And I will post it.
If it goes how I think it will, this will get me started for real. And then I will share the link in places like LinkedIn. And maybe the fear of other people’s opinion will go away. If not, at least I am doing something.
As I said in the beginning, I think this feeling is not particularly rare. Many people judge themselves harsher than they would a friend. Impostor syndrome is a thing. So if you find yourself in the same situation, with regards to anything you want to do, try it with me.